I cannot believe it has been over a year since I’ve written in my blog. After careful consideration, I’ve decided I want to steer this website in to a slightly different direction. While the concept of this blog will still remain, I want to add a more personal touch to my posts (i.e. share my daily thoughts on topics other than feminism–although, what better topic to discuss than feminism amiright or amiright?).
Not to worry though–I’m still a Feminist. And I still have a whole lot of Attitude.
Perhaps the reason for this change has been the many seasons of Sex and the City I’ve been binge-watching the last three months (Carrie Bradshaw simply looks too good in her NY apartment sitting on her desk typing away). But perhaps it’s because I’ve come to an age where cluelessness is the norm. Indecisiveness takes the lead. And insecurity overshadows me.
Hence, why I’m here to share this with all of you.
There is not one day I don’t think about what I want to do in life, where I want to be a year from now, how my past experiences can lead me to future endeavors, whether I’m contributing to life at all–be it even on a small scheme, etc. etc. etc.
The reality is, I’m completely and utterly clueless about who I want to be in this world let alone how I’m going to get there. Quite frankly, I’m sick of posts that read “Do what makes you happy.” “Be the person you’ve always wanted to be.” “Life is short. Live every minute of it.”
- First of all, If I knew what made me happy I would obviously already be doing it.
- Second of all, I have no perception of the person that I want to be, because if I did, I would unquestionably be on the path to becoming that person already.
- Third of all, there’s no way people live by these quotes, I mean, do they actually go “Yeah, you know what. Life is short. And I will live every minute of it.” Do a bunch of letters put together to form a sentence really trigger change in someone? Because if it generally does, why don’t I feel triggered?
Trust me, the passion is there. It’s the outlet I’m missing that deprives me of having my passion seen. Or maybe it’s just me holding myself back? Maybe I’m not listening to my subconscious.
Maybe Carrie Bradshaw was right.
“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.”
And that’s because we are constantly evolving and learning new things about ourselves: our likes (or in my case, dislikes), pet peeves, favorite ice cream flavor (hazelnut), music genre (rap), etc. There’s so much to you as an individual that you have to have a certain level of self-awareness to recognize your feelings, understand why you feel them, and ultimately get to a point where you’re able to fully embrace them–be it positive or negative. Once you’ve found yourself, you’ll find your true calling. But it doesn’t happen overnight. With a little bit of patience and a whole lot of hard work, what I’m meant to be doing in life will ultimately find me. THAT I believe.
How do you deal with your inner partner? Are you fulfilled?